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[May 30, 2008 @ 12:10am] |
| You Are a Carousel |  You are young at heart and a truly playful person. No one would ever accuse you of taking life too seriously.
You are definitely in things for the fun. You find joy easily, and you are often building up anticipation for your next adventure.
In relationships, you tend to want to be babied and taken care of.
And while you may be a bit high maintenance, you are incredibly loyal.
Your life is simple and satisfying. Each day you treat yourself to something you enjoy.
You have a lot of emotional attachments, and experiences are extra vivid to you.
You tend to be nostalgic and sentimental. The past is important to you.
Comfortable around all living things, you have a special connection to animals and children.
At your best, you are whimsical, free spirited, and creative.
Even if your schemes seem a bit strange, they usually work out wonderfully.
At your worst, you are spoiled, demanding, and impossible to satisfy.
You've been known to act like a brat if you aren't getting your way! |
i just took this for the heck of it but found it was actually pretty accurate.
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[April 26, 2008 @ 11:01pm] |
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mood |
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 refreshed |
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I feel good.
And not in a superficial I'm really happy look at me happy, but the real kind of happy. I don't know how to explain but this is a weird feeling. I did break up with sebastian. And I feel i have truly made the right choice. I told him about how it's obvious he doesnt care for me anymore. and how i dont understand why he didnt tell me about his change of feelings. i dont know if i'll ever know. but i think im happy where i am right now. i dont know if the right guy will be there, but if he does come along, i hope that i dont disrespect myself like i did with this relationship. ive realized ive been so depressed and soaked up in my feelings that i havent been myself. and i just want to go back to being happy, and not caring. and most importantly, i just want to be loved and return that same feeling to someone else. i dont want to feel like im alone ever again.
ive realized the value in true friendship more than ever. the people who will stand there and go through the experience with you, rather than ditch you because you're too much to handle at the moment. and ive decided life's truly too short (not in a cliche way but really) and i need to make every moment count. and i think thats what truly just got me to break up with him. i didnt want to be miserable for one more second. i dont have to convince myself that he cares anymore. im happy. and i want to make more friends.
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[March 16, 2008 @ 6:05pm] |
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music |
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the tide-spill canvas |
] |
lacrosse tryouts were all week. it was positively drowning of my physical and mental abilities. i really hope i improve this season though. i really want to be in varsity junior year.
but yea, basically, im sick of this routine where i get through the week somehow, but the whole time im waiting for the weekend. i need spring break badly. and im going to farmington spring break.
now that i have my license though, getting myself places should be a little easier :]
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| sadies weekend |
[February 11, 2008 @ 9:50pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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so nice so smart- kimya dawson |
] |
heh. so this weekend was sadies.
no one went bc we had that new rule about not grinding
and then also no one went bc of that rule.
so basically. i heard it SUCKED.
haha but i ended up having dinner with sebastian which was nice, and then we went to nolan's house and played [more like watch the guys play] rockband, and then they played halo. except i was feeling so stupid since i was the only girl there and there were like 10 guys. it was BAD. haha. and also I SUCK AT PING PONG. hehe but it was fun i guess, hanging with everyone, and i felt like i could just be myself.
but yup, just felt the need to record my sadies weekend.
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| its like i wrote every note with my own fingers. |
[February 07, 2008 @ 11:25pm] |
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music |
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mixed tape- jack's mannequin |
] |
HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP.
so today i went to a jacks mannequin concert.
i wasnt sure if i should go or not since it wasnt my favorite band, and i didnt know too many songs by them. but i went, bc kate had an extra ticket. it was the best thing of my life. he was sooo good live! and the whole time i wanted to be the piano that he was playing on. then towards the end, he STARTED RUNNING TOWARDS US. AND WE WERENT IN THE FRONT ROW, WE WERE LIKE IN THE MIDDLE, AND HE JUST JUMPED UP AND LIKE JUMPED ON THE SEAT. AND MY FRIEND TOTALLY DOVE FOR HIM AND GOT TO HOLD HIS HAND WHILE HE SANG THE CHORUS. IT WAS AMAZING!!! AND ME AND KATE GOT TO STROKE HIS BACK.
and that my friend, was my first concert.
I LOVE THAT BAND NOW. i really do. their music is great and they're good live and im looking forward to their next album.
oh and i had another snow day so that was good too :]
im so scared for this day to end since i had so much fun and my heart is still jumping!!! i cant wait til the next concert.
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| the things we feel alone for one another. |
[February 03, 2008 @ 3:46pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
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music |
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secret's in the telling - dashboard confessional |
] |
so we had 2 snowdays this week. it was amazing times twenty.
our bio teacher tried to tell us that we wont have a snowday on friday and that he's going to purposely give us a quiz just to prove we wont have one.
BUT WE DID. suck on that foo. except not.
so this weekend was kind of crazyinyoface.
basically i went to the mall with becca on friday to rush to get a gift for my friend erins's birthday party and my sister whose birthday is today.
then on saturday, it was crazy mayhem. basically i was at science fun day[which in itself is a contradiction bc science and fun cannot work together in one sentence] and helped little kids make molecular models. haha so basically i was thinking i should have brought my notes when i couldnt remember how to put together a glucose. then arash wanted to go get coffee and so i was home for like 30 minutes and then he picked me up. he decided he wanted noodles and company, and so it took longer to get there and eat and i was broke cuz that place eats up my money. then i went to tianna's with britt and got ready and then went to erin's party. that was great :] it was at the university club so it was really nice and everything. i mingled a lot with random people so it was lotsa fun. and then we thought someone stole my purse so i had to look around FOREVER and finally found that it was behind the front desk. IDK.
-"UGGH YOU ARE SOOOOO EMBARRASSING."
-whit and grace pointing at each other
-everytime matt dances he points at chris
-your vagina is showing.
-gimme more dance.
and then we all went to tiannas and watched gilmore girls and ate cheese and crackers with our sweatshirts on over our dress. that was amazing. then i came home and immediately hit bed.
today, i woke up late, actually, my mom woke me up. and we had to go to this meeting for this highly talented program thing where you take msu classes before college. which is cool, seeing that you save moolah and everything. i think i might take psych or philosophy. or econ. but idk. i'm going to allie's for superbowl tonight. but thats about it. i really should practice my violin.
i feel like the rest of this schoolyear is going to be crazy. lacrosse is coming up. and im still going through phil orch which is eating me up every second. i have solo and ensamble next week. i got a job application for ae but i dont knwo if i am going to do it. idk lots on my mind.
SORRY FOR THE LONG ENTRY.
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| i am bored! |
[January 27, 2008 @ 4:14pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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| 45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone | | whats your name spelt backwards?: | eehuj | | What did you do last night?: | your mom. | | The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?: | probably some juno soundtrack. | | Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: | what? no. | | Last time you swam in a pool?: | looong time ago. | | What are you wearing?: | my favorite adidas shorts and my hc class shirt | | How many cars have you owned?: | 0 | | Type of music you dislike most?: | heavy metal/rock | | Are you registered to vote?: | no | | Do you have cable?: | yessir | | What kind of computer do you use?: | hp | | Ever made a prank phone call?: | hahaha ho yes. | | You like anyone right now?: | of course. | | Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: | maybe if i felt crazy enough. | | Furthest place you ever traveled?: | germany? | | What's your favorite comic strip?: | lame. maybe calvin and hobbes? idk. | | Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: | i think...or not. | | Shower, morning or night?: | night on weekdays, morning during weekends. | | Best movie you've seen in the past month?: | junoo by far. | | Favorite pizza toppings?: | veggie lovers or bbq chicken. ooh and pineapple. lovely. | | Chips or popcorn?: | hmm really hard question. | | What cell phone provider do you have?: | verizon. what the heck? random. | | Have you ever smoked peanut shells?: | what?! | | Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?: | hahaha. that was a laugh. | | Orange Juice or apple?: | OJ baby. | | Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: | always the same. hayley, erin, kate. faves. | | favorite chocolate bar?: | KIT KAT! | | Who is your longest friend and how long?: | ......... | | Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?: | this summer im thinking. | | Have you ever won a trophy?: | i think so. | | Favorite arcade game?: | im not sure. ddr is so much fun though. | | Ever ordered from an infomercial?: | haha sadly, no. i would love a magic bullet though. | | Sprite or 7-UP?: | sprite. | | Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?: | i dont think so. no wait. yes. | | Last thing you bought at Walgreens?: | i dont remember the last time i went there. | | Ever thrown up in public?: | probz. | | Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?: | true love. i think i would lose myself if i had that amount of money. | | Do you believe in love at first sight?: | maybe. sometimes people feel a certain connection. | | SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: | spongebob. duh. | | Did you have long hair as a young kid?: | nope | | What message is on your voicemail machine?: | i think i recently went through and erased all of them. | | Where would you like to go right now?: | anywhere but here. | | Whats the name of your pet?: | i have none. | | What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?: | pink plaid jansport. lots and lots of books, ipod, wallet, keys, pencils...DRUGS. except not. ya know. | | What do you think about most?: | stuff that i'd rather not talk about right now. | Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site |
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| i felt nauseous with the truth, there will never be a time more opportune. |
[January 26, 2008 @ 7:48pm] |
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mood |
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 morose |
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music |
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lime tree- bright eyes |
] |
i just realized how i have lost touch of everything.
and i thought about how middle school was such a good time and how i really had some amazing friends. and i dont understand how things can change so fast.. it seems like just yesterday that we were laughing together, having the times of our lives. and i really miss it. i really cant seem to make sense of it. how people can just simply fade out of peoples' memories. how do humans do that? it doesnt make sense. how can you just erase memories with people? and the thing that i cant understand most of all, is how over a hundred friends could be reduced down to 2 or 3. i just find it sad that distance can do such a thing. i really want to go back. i miss everything. i made a pact with myself that im going to keep updating on livejournal. if not for any reason, just for the sole purpose to attempt to keep in touch with you guys. please. keep making me update!
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[July 28, 2007 @ 1:44pm] |
SUMMAH YOUTH CAMP 07 was so awesome that this entry might not do it justice.
last year, i had a horrible attitude.
therefore i had a horrible time.
this year, i decided to be more open and to not care if i make a fool of myself.
therefore i had an AMAZING time. :D
it was just amazing. God is amazing.
Everything this year was just perfect. i decided i wouldnt care if i looked like a fool and just did what my mind told me to. just to jump out and do what i would like to. to just meet random people and to just be pumped. it was just so much fun. i feel like writing everything down would diminish this experience so i'm just going to write down words that come to me.
99 red ballons. skit. slip and slide. God. running. wake up. bus ride. buy you a baby. hanky panky. music. pastor peter. pray. God. whateverrr. gotcha hugs. ahssa. mountain dew. crap pool. paint. boy shorts. late nights. crazy times. running away like a retard. womb. chingu grams. tears. praise. God. crazy. random. love. :]
i really feel like i dont want to forget this. so hopefully i wrote down everything that i loved about this camp.
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[July 15, 2007 @ 10:53pm] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
] |
friday was the closing dinner for the korean olympics, and the fnf lockin for my church. i just had a really good time. dinner was okay, i didnt really talk to many people, but it was still pretty good, but the realy party started at the lockin :] haha it was just amazing. when i first got there, i got this weird feeling that i do when im put into new situations and im afraid to open up. so i felt this and i thought that it would be boring. but it was actually a lot of fun. first of all, i saw a bunch of my friends that i hadn't seen in a while, plus talked to people i had known but didnt talk to. it was just so comfortable. and it was easier with my friends there. fun. i dont think there would be a right word to explain it, but it was just a really great time. but then we were forced to sleep at like 3:30 and they were all nazi about it.
saturday i got up from the lockin and was extremely tired. i called sarah and she picked me up at like 9:30. we went to her house and just talked forever. it was nice to see her again :] we sat around and didnt do anything because no one was home. i called neeyati and ryba and they were the only ones who could come to starbucks. [not that that was a problem, i love them ♥] and we had a lot of fun. there were a bunch of cars playing "party like a rockstar" really loud. haha and also, ryba was demonstrating a certain person flopping around. we were outside, and of course a lady was giving him the weirdest look. haha. it was poopy though, i had to leave that day at like 4. so i left soon after that.
today was like the least "blah" sunday i've experienced.
haha usually sundays are so annoyinggg.
but today was a bit different for some reason. i dunno, i felt like i had a life. haha i went to church, which was actually kind of fun today. dunno why, maybe it was the people i hung out with. everything seemed a bit offbeat today. but in a good way. then i went to the cornell playground with nolan. i expected it to be extremely weird, but it wasnt that bad. i wanted someone else to come with me, but really, it was okay. hehe we had good laughs. and it was nice to be at a playground :] i came back, and i watered the garden and yard and stuff. its still weird for me to know that i have a house. maybe thats why it was weird. that it was so summery and i actually did things today. biking around and going to places, what summer's supposed to be like. then britt called and she talked forever of course. :] i had to eat dinner, then britt and casey randomly came to my house and we biked arond until 10:30ish. hehe it was fun. i feel like this was one of those movie days. where summer's supposed to be random and fun and just "adventurous". today's just hard to put into words.
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[July 09, 2007 @ 10:20pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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i'm coming back!
if anyone cares. i guess its more for me though.
neeyati told me to. and i agree. i need to update. if i ever want to look back on things, i realize i might not have anything. and that kind of scares me. i guess i really value memories a lot. well, nothing really happening right now, just some moving things, and maybe a start of something. but thats it. i'll keep you updated :]
| You Are 67% Perfectionist | 
You are a true perfectionist. You are both demanding of yourself and others.
While it's great to have goals and standards, they don't need to be sky high! |
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[February 25, 2007 @ 1:38am] |
i just realized.
i complain so many times a day.
this needs to stop.
i need to stop thinking about what i dont have and start focusing on what i do have. i keep thinking about the worst parts of things.
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| not a real entry sorry! hehe |
[February 20, 2007 @ 10:57am] |
| Your Inner European is French! |  Smart and sophisticated. You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so. |
| You Are 40% NYC |  Okay, so maybe you've been to NYC. But you probably really live in Connecticut. |
| You Have Your Sarcastic Moments | 
While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge.
In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead!
And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in.
Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious. |
| What Your Dreams Mean... | 
Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious.
You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep.
Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities.
You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind. |
| Your Mind is PG-13 Rated | 
Your mind is definitely a little dirty. You're naughty, but not trashy.
You don't shy away from a dirty joke, and you're clearly not a prude. |
^ummmm....
| You Are Rain | 
You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.
Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.
You are best known for: your touch
Your dominant state: changing |
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[January 15, 2007 @ 9:55am] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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irreplaceable- beyonce. hehe |
] |
Everything's pretty overwhelming.
It's hard. i've never had to deal with these finals things and im really scared. and plus why do the teachers give us homework as well as so much studying for finals? I dunno, I need deadlines to help me, but usually I don't work well under pressure. Oh well, hopefully I'll get passing grades. hopefully good ones. I'm just waiting for them to be over so i can sigh and be like "ahhhh." and i get half days. i guess thats a good thing. :)
I dunno if i should go to sadie's!
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| two thousand seven. |
[January 03, 2007 @ 2:18am] |
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so i saw my cousins a few days ago. it was great. i love them.
and here are my new years resolutions. not many, but i need to improve my lazy face:
1) do your best in everything
you do. actually, you already
do that, but its not good
enough. so kick yourself and
go do it.
2) eat healthier stuff.
seriously, you're gaining a
little fat.
3) be less pessimistic and be
less worriful. you're going to
die of stress you fool. you
trip over every little thing.
get over yourself. the world's
not about you.
4) work a little faster
slowpoke!
so yeah, pretty much. im a dork. but i have to do these things this year.
2007 is going to be great. and yes, that was a little bit of resolution number 3.
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[December 27, 2006 @ 4:54pm] |
woah. so like, this is livejournal.
haha wow.
yeah so nothing much, it was christmas a few days ago. which makes me quite sad actually. i really thought i would see my cousins and aunts and uncles this year :( but i didnt. and so that makes me sad. i haven't seen them for the longest time and i miss them dearly. i miss all my farmington peeps also. i realize how easy it is to just break off ties with people and to give no effort to get to know them at all. really, its hard to manage everyone i know.
new years soon. can't decide if i want to go to that party or to go to farmington. but one way or the other, im going to farmington soon.
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[December 01, 2006 @ 11:37pm] |
snowdayyys are awesomee :)
woah. i like forgot what livejournal was.
i really should do an update, but seriously, like nothing ever happens. so yeah, thats pretty much it.
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[November 05, 2006 @ 5:16am] |
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mood |
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 the heat's turned on high |
] |
please send me anything but signals that are mixed.
wow. everything's so messed up.
and i hate that i take everything for granted but its true.
i hate that everything i do isn't good enough and everything i do right still isn't perfect or good enough. some things will never get good enough for people and it annoys me. for once in my life, i wish i'd do something and be good at it and feel perfectly fine about it and not feel insecure or feel like i have to put myself down. its hard to explain but like everything i do isn't good enough for my parents. everything i do at school isn't good enough cuz people are freakin smart. you know, after you get past the fact that i suck at math.
i dunno, i just wasn't in the best moods in the last like 3 days..
and wow, i dont even know what to do with myself bc i'm like crazy for someone to lean on right now. like i need someone that i can talk to about anything and someone i know will be there for me no matter what. like here in okemos. i just wish i'll find that person soon cuz i'll go nuts soon.
basically, the only good thing right now is that i got a digital camera [!!!] and now i can take pictures of sunsets like i always wanted to and take pictures of random flowers and pretty things that i notice all the time. so at least i have something to look forward to. wow. thats sad.
hehe okay well i won't depress myself further. if i think about it, my life's not that bad i guess. im just making it seem worse like i always do.
♥
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[October 27, 2006 @ 6:07pm] |
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The tragedy of Romeo and Juliet....
"I am too sore enpierced with his shaft
to soar with his light feathers; and so bound
I cannot bound a pitch above dull woe.
Under love's heavy burden do I sink (19-22)."
hehe not trying to be a retarded shakespeare lover, but it is very pretty. im only at the beginning of the story so i dont know a lot, but that was one of the quotes i liked.
anyway, so school's been pretty good to me. even though i still take forever to get anything done, you know, whatever, i guess im just trying to deal with it and get better. its just that i just feel like people don't appreciate that im there, like they just take me for granted. like some people just cut me off in mid sentence and im kind of a nobody to them. no names. just a thought. i just feel like they dont even try to include me sometimes. i mean i know im like really lame sometimes, but hey, i try.
i love autumn. autumn is just so pretty. all the colors and the refreshing breeze. its so nice. :)
i love wearing my scarves and jackets even though its a bit cold in the morning. i have to get up really early in the morning, so that i see the stars when i get up. i mean yes, its early, and i want to sleep, but i can't deny the fact that i can actually see all the stars and its just so pretty and so refreshing. I can't wait til halloween. i have to admit its going to be a lot different than last year. last year was soo much fun. with all my friends from power. i dunno if its going to be fun like that at all this year. i'll have to wait and see. i just miss everyone so much sometimes. i guess its always there no matter what, its just i've gotten immune to the feeling and i'm growing to like okemos and im actually making some friends. but sometimes, i really wish you guys were here. maybe even just like one person here would make things so much better. i want to visit soon and hopefully i'll see you people. ♥
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