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09 December 2010 @ 11:31 pm
 After...maybe 6 years of having this livejournal I've decided I want a fresh journal with my college experiences in it.


^do it to it.
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
19 November 2010 @ 05:22 pm
 Glee's rendition of "Teenage Dream" keeps playing over and over in my head.

This week made me happy. Well I mean Saturday kind of sucked. but my actual birthday was really one of the nicest things that has happened to me. At midnight I was in Adam and Kylan's room and Kelly Sarah and Bri came and surprised me with a song and weird costume and put a tiara on my head. When I returned to my room, they had also put up post-it notes all over my door. I'm going to keep those forever. Why people care enough to do that and text me at midnight and treat me like royalty all day, I wouldn't know. But I'm not complaining.

Harry Potter rocks my world. I went to see it on opening night and it was grand. I'm usually prone to disappointment as the movies never seem to be able to fit in all the details. But this one I was quite fond of. There was humor, action, romance, and Ron Weasley. Whom I would like to marry once I am accepted into Hogwarts of course. I dressed as Cho Chang. I managed to find most of what I needed at Salvation Army which was wonderful.

Stefano came to visit a couple days back and it had to have been one of the highlights of the week. It was so great. It was like time had flown past us but we could still understand each other. We could still relate and laugh and enjoy each others' companies. I miss old friends.

I'm very tired because apparently when it's your birthday you don't get sleep that whole week. :]
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
11 November 2010 @ 11:53 pm
I am infatuated with Matt & Kim. They've exceeded my expectations. Less annoying mono-rhythmic drums, more variety in percussion and instrumentals. ridiculous syncopation. perfection.

no time for cameras
we’ll use our eyes instead
no time for cameras
we’ll be gone when we’re dead
no time for cameras
we’ll use our eyes instead
I see flashes of gold

In other news, I'm turning 19 and I'm happy. I love birthdays.
But for whatever reason I find my mind keeps scrolling back to the episode of Friends where Rachel turns 30. I'm old.
I think back to the days when 13 seemed a miraculous era of pre-teenage change, and when 17 seemed always the ideal age. And now I have surpassed both, arriving at the last of the "-teens." 30 seems so distant from me now, but where will I be when I'm there? I guess the constant threat of declaring a major is instilling a sort of fear in me, the kind that serves as an incessant reminder that I have no clue what I'm doing.

But other than the huge decision i have yet to make about my future, I'm happy.
College suits me. It seems strange to look back on the post I wrote in late August. I can almost hear the fear in my voice. I've gone through more change in the last 2 months than I have probably in any other time period of my life. College. Friends. New friends. Friends that are now in heaven.
I think it is simply in my nature to freak out before anything big happens. College was an ominous change. The death of Heather, Sarina, and Matt was.. mind boggling. Unbearable. Heather was my first friend when I moved to Okemos. A warm hand that pulled me up from nothing. The idea that I have not done half as much for her as she did for me... it haunted me. But I've learned. From a naive over-emotional girl to a realistic and still childlike person I've grown. And these experiences taught me to take on anything with confidence.
Current Mood: artisticartistic
Current Music: Matt & Kim
30 May 2008 @ 12:10 am
You Are a Carousel
You are young at heart and a truly playful person. No one would ever accuse you of taking life too seriously.
You are definitely in things for the fun. You find joy easily, and you are often building up anticipation for your next adventure.
In relationships, you tend to want to be babied and taken care of.
And while you may be a bit high maintenance, you are incredibly loyal.

Your life is simple and satisfying. Each day you treat yourself to something you enjoy.
You have a lot of emotional attachments, and experiences are extra vivid to you.
You tend to be nostalgic and sentimental. The past is important to you.
Comfortable around all living things, you have a special connection to animals and children.

At your best, you are whimsical, free spirited, and creative.
Even if your schemes seem a bit strange, they usually work out wonderfully.
At your worst, you are spoiled, demanding, and impossible to satisfy.
You've been known to act like a brat if you aren't getting your way!
i just took this for the heck of it but found it was actually pretty accurate.
26 April 2008 @ 11:01 pm
 I feel good.
And not in a superficial I'm really happy look at me happy, but the real kind of happy. I don't know how to explain but this is a weird feeling. I did break up with sebastian. And I feel i have truly made the right choice. I told him about how it's obvious he doesnt care for me anymore. and how i dont understand why he didnt tell me about his change of feelings. i dont know if i'll ever know. but i think im happy where i am right now. i dont know if the right guy will be there, but if he does come along, i hope that i dont disrespect myself like i did with this relationship. ive realized ive been so depressed and soaked up in my feelings that i havent been myself. and i just want to go back to being happy, and not caring. and most importantly, i just want to be loved and return that same feeling to someone else. i dont want to feel like im alone ever again.

ive realized the value in true friendship more than ever. the people who will stand there and go through the experience with you, rather than ditch you because you're too much to handle at the moment. and ive decided life's truly too short (not in a cliche way but really) and i need to make every moment count. and i think thats what truly just got me to break up with him. i didnt want to be miserable for one more second. i dont have to convince myself that he cares anymore. im happy. and i want to make more friends.
Current Mood: refreshedrefreshed
03 April 2008 @ 01:21 pm
it's spring break.
i was excited yesterday but right now, i just feel kind of crappy. my boy situation is getting way too crazy. he's totaly changed and i don't think i can pretend that things are okay anymore. he treats me so differently than before we were together and i can't stand it. i hope the rest of my break goes alright.
i'm reading the perks of being a wallflower. i am in love. i love that i can relate to him in so many ways. i love how he says current feelings in a way i thought i couldn't really describe in words. it's so plain in a way that is so beautiful.
"we accept the love we think we deserve" is how i feel right now.

You Are a Cappuccino

You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new.

However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like.

You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation.

You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please

You Are Low Maintenance

Otherwise known as "too good to be true"

You're one laid back chica - and men love that!

Just remember that no good guy likes a doormat.

So if you find your self going along to get along...

Stop yourself and put up a little bit of a fight.

Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: konstantine- something corporate
16 March 2008 @ 06:05 pm
lacrosse tryouts were all week. it was positively draining of my physical and mental abilities. i really hope i improve this season though. i really want to be on varsity junior year.

but yea, basically, im sick of this routine where i get through the week somehow, but the whole time im waiting for the weekend. i need spring break badly. and im going to farmington spring break.
now that i have my license though, getting myself places should be a little easier :]
Current Music: the tide-spill canvas
11 February 2008 @ 09:50 pm
heh. so this weekend was sadies.
no one went bc we had that new rule about not grinding
and then also no one went bc of that rule.
so basically. i heard it SUCKED.
haha but i ended up having dinner with sebastian which was nice, and then we went to nolan's house and played [more like watch the guys play] rockband, and then they played halo. except i was feeling so stupid since i was the only girl there and there were like 10 guys. it was BAD. haha. and also I SUCK AT PING PONG. hehe but it was fun i guess, hanging with everyone, and i felt like i could just be myself.
but yup, just felt the need to record my sadies weekend.
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: so nice so smart- kimya dawson
07 February 2008 @ 11:25 pm
so today i went to a jacks mannequin concert.
i wasnt sure if i should go or not since it wasnt my favorite band, and i didnt know too many songs by them. but i went, bc kate had an extra ticket. it was the best thing of my life. he was sooo good live! and the whole time i wanted to be the piano that he was playing on. then towards the end, he STARTED RUNNING TOWARDS US. AND WE WERENT IN THE FRONT ROW, WE WERE LIKE IN THE MIDDLE, AND HE JUST JUMPED UP AND LIKE JUMPED ON THE SEAT. AND MY FRIEND TOTALLY DOVE FOR HIM AND GOT TO HOLD HIS HAND WHILE HE SANG THE CHORUS. IT WAS AMAZING!!! AND ME AND KATE GOT TO STROKE HIS BACK.
and that my friend, was my first concert.
I LOVE THAT BAND NOW. i really do. their music is great and they're good live and im looking forward to their next album.
oh and i had another snow day so that was good too :]
im so scared for this day to end since i had so much fun and my heart is still jumping!!! i cant wait til the next concert.
Current Music: mixed tape- jack's mannequin
03 February 2008 @ 03:46 pm
so we had 2 snowdays this week. it was amazing times twenty.
our bio teacher tried to tell us that we wont have a snowday on friday and that he's going to purposely give us a quiz just to prove we wont have one.
BUT WE DID. suck on that foo. except not.
so this weekend was kind of crazyinyoface.

basically i went to the mall with becca on friday to rush to get a gift for my friend erins's birthday party and my sister whose birthday is today.

then on saturday, it was crazy mayhem. basically i was at science fun day[which in itself is a contradiction bc science and fun cannot work together in one sentence] and helped little kids make molecular models. haha so basically i was thinking i should have brought my notes when i couldnt remember how to put together a glucose. then arash wanted to go get coffee and so i was home for like 30 minutes and then he picked me up. he decided he wanted noodles and company, and so it took longer to get there and eat and i was broke cuz that place eats up my money. then i went to tianna's with britt and got ready and then went to erin's party. that was great :] it was at the university club so it was really nice and everything. i mingled a lot with random people so it was lotsa fun. and then we thought someone stole my purse so i had to look around FOREVER and finally found that it was behind the front desk. IDK.
-whit and grace pointing at each other
-everytime matt dances he points at chris
-your vagina is showing.
-gimme more dance.
and then we all went to tiannas and watched gilmore girls and ate cheese and crackers with our sweatshirts on over our dress. that was amazing. then i came home and immediately hit bed.

today, i woke up late, actually, my mom woke me up. and we had to go to this meeting for this highly talented program thing where you take msu classes before college. which is cool, seeing that you save moolah and everything. i think i might take psych or philosophy. or econ. but idk. i'm going to allie's for superbowl tonight. but thats about it. i really should practice my violin.

i feel like the rest of this schoolyear is going to be crazy. lacrosse is coming up. and im still going through phil orch which is eating me up every second. i have solo and ensamble next week. i got a job application for ae but i dont knwo if i am going to do it. idk lots on my mind.
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: secret's in the telling - dashboard confessional